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# Parents purchase pop stars for daughter's sweet 13
- URL: https://www.jewsrock.org/parents-purchase-pop-stars-for-daughters-sweet-13/
- Published: 2005-11-25T12:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-08-20T22:08:30.000Z
- Author: JewsRock
- Tags: Blog

*by Izzy Grinspan*

The New York Times Style section continues its Bar Mitzvah coverage with a long [story](http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/20/fashion/sundaystyles/20ACTS.html?pagewanted=1&ref=jewsrock.org) about superstars who shamefacedly play private parties. Example number one: Ja Rule and Ashanti, who recently performed at wee Amber Ridinger's entrance into the Jewish community. Things that are wrong with this picture:

1.) The obvious: thanks for confirming every single anti-Semitic stereotype out there, guys. And for the record, this does not make things better:

"It can be seen as over the top when really the reason you hire a top entertainer is to give your guests a once-in-a-lifetime experience," Mr. Tutera said.

Mr. Tutera, a New York party planner, makes an interesting point: this stuff isn't showy! Like donating tzadakah -- say a range of $25,000 to over $1 million -- to the poor, it actually counts as a mitzvah because it makes people happy. See? Not over the top at all.

2.) The other obvious: wasn't there supposed to be some sort of focus here on joining the Jewish community and becoming an adult? Now, if Ja Rule had helped Amber with her Torah portion, that would seem a lot more Jewishly appropriate.

2.) In ten years, that $27,000 Dolce & Gabbana dress still won't be kitch. Which means poor Amber will never have hilariously geeky pictures to send to the Bar Mitzvah Disco folks. And that may be the biggest shanda of all.